Never will I ever be able to handle change the way that some people can. Some people greet change with open arms, embrace it, and happily move forward with their lives. I, on the other hand, try to stay still while I really want to run in the opposite direction. I’m very set in my ways, so although I am trying to grow and better myself, immediate change is a hard reality for me to handle.Over the past few months, so much has changed. As I touched upon in my last post, I moved to Boston – which proved to be trickier than I had hoped. I have found a new obsession, working out (like a crazy person.) “Dating” in the city is interesting, to say the least. Friendships aren’t as easy to form as an adult as they were growing up (duh.) And to top it all off, next week I am starting a new job. So although some of the change has been tough to swallow, the good has definitely outweighed the bad.

With so much changing in my life, it’s been hard to sit down and catch my breath. It truly seems like if I close my eyes for more than a second, something new has unfolded in my life.

This weekend, I finally had a chance to breathe. My weekend was full of relaxation and reflection. Not only was I able to see how far I have come emotionally over the past few months – which is further than I ever would have thought possible. But, physically, I have changed immensely. Not just in the form of weight loss, but the way I carry myself, the way that I dress, and the energy that I manifest is on a different level than it used to be. These moments of reflection allowed me to actually feel proud of how far I’ve come.

This isn’t meant to be a selfish blog post, but I do want to share some of the reasons why I felt proud today – I gained real independence over the past few months; I’m stronger than I was 6 months ago – mentally and physically; I’m in the process of making a major career move; I have started to put myself first.

Finally, the most important reason why I felt proud – I am finally finding my true self. The reason the title of this blog post says ‘only for a moment’ is because this is a journey and not every day is a good day. Trust me when I say I don’t feel this positive and proud every day. Hopefully, as time moves forward, this is more of a normal and natural feeling for myself. Because honestly, it feels great.

Emily Riane

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