My last couple posts have definitely been more on the personal side than about lifestyle. I will definitely get back to writing more lifestyle content like I used to, but I do have one more personal post that I’d like to share. If you know me in real life or have been following my Instagram recently, then it’s probably not a surprise to hear that I have struggled with anxiety over the years. The thought of sharing this on my blog has been on my list for a while. I’ve hinted at it in past posts, but I’ve always been super hesitant to come out and say it. Since May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I figured now would be a good time to finally share this on my blog.
About 9 months ago, my anxiety was so bad I couldn’t get through a single day without an anxiety attack – life was hard. I felt like there was nothing I could do to feel better. When I went for my annual checkup with my doctor, I broke down and admitted that I needed help. My doctor referred me to therapists in Boston, and I’ve been going to weekly therapy ever since – which is something I’ve tried to keep under wraps. I only tell my close friends or people that I am trying to build relationships with (i.e. guys I have dated). But over time I’ve realized, there’s no need to keep it a secret. There is a stigma associated with anxiety disorders (& other mental health conditions), which I think is why I’ve felt so strongly about keeping my feelings to myself.
Anxiety is definitely tough for me, and since going to therapy I’ve been able to improve in so many areas of my life – but there are also still things that I struggle with. Even though some things have improved, there are things that people notice about me daily that I try to pretend don’t exist. My guard is always up and my trust level for everything & everyone is very low – essentially, I’m still in my own way.
The real reason that I’m writing this post is slightly selfish, but I’ve never been good about being totally open and honest about this (or any of my feelings), and people who are close to me often point out my anxious tendencies, so I am well aware that it’s still a daily struggle. People say that the life you post online is just a highlight reel, and my social media profiles and blog are definitely just highlight reels; this blog post is the exception to that.
I’ve been trying to be more in control of my anxiety through therapy, working out like crazy, changing things I simply don’t like, and also beginning to take CBD oil. There are so many ways to help cope with anxiety and everyone has different needs, these are just things that have worked for me. I also have a really strong support system of friends that I can always talk to, judgment-free.
I do know that this is a process, so I’m just taking things day by day, and trying to be as happy as possible, without brushing my anxiety aside. My blog has always been an outlet for me, so I figured that this is a great platform to share my struggle and continue to share my journey of finding myself and finding a life that I love.
If you struggle with anxiety (or any mental health disorder), it can get better. Reach out to people who are close to you like your friends & family, or even your doctor (like I did!).